October 5, 2008
I’ve been getting a lot of fan mail lately asking all sorts of questions about my books, what’s happening in the publishing world, who I think should become the new President of the Romance Author’s Guild, and more. I was telling this to my Granny Feraldi and how I don’t always have time to answer all of the emails I get and she suggested she just interview me.
She’s the new editor of the Pine Hills Assisted Living Center Trib (for Tribulation) and she takes her job very, very seriously. As she says in the byline, “All the news that ain’t dead!”
Trust me on this – she will ask ALL of the tough questions. She always does.
To make things simpler for Granny, I recorded our interview and then had my assistant transcribe it for you here:
(Granny Feraldi makes a mean martini!)
GRANNY FERALDI: You’re late. It’s about time for lunch and they’re having bread pudding so don’t expect me t—Why aren’t you dressed up? You’ll look like crap on TV unless you wear one of them red power suits like the weather gal on Channel 4.
KAREN: This isn’t for TV. It’s for my website.
GRANNY F: No TV?
KAREN: No.
GRANNY F: How about youtube?
KAREN: No.
GRANNY F: But I had my roots done.
KAREN: They look nice, but . . . no.
GRANNY F: Damn. Well, fine then. (kicks at a seat) Put your keister here, where I can see your face in the light.
KAREN: Light? What is this? An interrogation?
GRANNY F: Afraid, eh? I knew it! You’re hiding something!
KAREN: I’m not hiding anything!
GRANNY F: That’s what they all say. Bill O’Reilly wouldn’t let you sit in the shade and neither will I. Now sit.
KAREN: (sits) This is silly. I—
GRANNY F: Boohoo! Now, will there be more MacLean books? I love those Scotsmen who cause storms! I need me a man like that to ‘water my garden’ if you know what I mean.
(Don't you wish you had a granny to make you martinis?)
KAREN: Unfortunately, I do. And yes, there will be two more MacLean books. I’ve already written Hugh’s story and am working on Alexander’s right now.
GRANNY F: WOOHOO!
KAREN: The books come out back-to-back next June and July. Hugh’s story is called SLEEPLESS IN SCOTLAND (the June book) and Alexander’s story is called THE LAIRD WHO LOVED ME (the July book). Together, these two books are my version of Shakespeare’s TAMING OF THE SHREW with two sisters, one nice and the other not-so-nice. I had a lot of fun writing it!
GRANNY F: Tee hee! I can’t wait! Are there a lot of sex scenes?
KAREN: More than usual. These are just two very sensual, very sexy men with two very passionate women and well . . . nature has its way.
GRANNY F: That’s my granddaughter! June and July, here I come! Now tell me about your next release. When is it coming out and what is it about?
KAREN: My next new release is TALK OF THE TOWN--
GRANNY F: Oh! The contemporary! It comes out November 18th! I know because I marked it on my calendar right over there under ‘Death and Taxes, the Game.”
KAREN: The game?
GRANNY F: Yup. The yahoos in the admin here at the assisted living center cooked up a game show to teach us about estate planning. They think they can dress it up with prizes and we’ll never notice. Ha! They don’t know how much we try all day not to think of dying. Why would we wanna start thinkin’ about it just to win a coffee cozzee?
KAREN: That doesn’t make sense to me, either.
GRANNY F: Nope. Now, back to TALK OF THE TOWN. I asked to read it but you wouldn’t let me.
KAREN: No, I didn’t. You’ll have to wait until November 18th.
GRANNY F: Witch.
KAREN: Pushy reporter.
GRANNY F: Obnoxious romance author.
KAREN: Mean woman who won’t give her favorite granddaughter her secret pecan pie recipe.
GRANNY F: Who said you were my favorite? Now, tell me more about this book you wouldn’t even let your poor, old granny read.
KAREN: It’s my first ever, smart-ass and fun contemporary romance—
(Maybe you'll be sipping a martini while reading my newest book, TALK OF THE TOWN, coming November 18th! I will be!)
GRANNY F: Is it sexy?
KAREN: Yes. It’s smart-ass and sexy. I love this book and not just because I met the man who is now my fiancé while doing the research for it, although that helps.
GRANNY F: Oh, that nice Nate. He’s a sweetie. Brought me a box of chocolates last time he was here. He didn’t even blink when I told him I liked chocolate almost as much as my daily enema.
KAREN: He never blinks. It’s his training. Anyway, this book—
GRANNY F: And he’s a police officer, too! I like me a hot, sexy cop!
KAREN: Yes, he’s a wonderful man.
GRANNY F: Show the nice people your ring.
KAREN: Granny Feraldi, we’re not on youtube.
GRANNY F: Oh. . . . Can you insert a picture of it into the article?
KAREN: I suppose I co—
GRANNY F: Excellent! So, about the book, TALK OF THE TOWN?
KAREN: I love this book because Roxie Treymayne begins the book as a woman betrayed but quickly realizes that the time has come to grab life by the throat and shake happiness out of it.
GRANNY F: Grab life by the throat! That sounds rather mean. Cranky. A bit evil, even. I like that in a woman!
KAREN: Can’t hurt. Besides, Roxie has a reason to feel that way; life has been mean to her so she thinks it deserves a little mean in return.
GRANNY F: I’d like to grab life by the throat. I’d shake it and throttle it until it turned a nice blue and then I’d slam it on the floor like Johnny Unitas and scream, “TAKE THAT, YOU —“
KAREN: GRANNY!
GRANNY F: (silence) I went too far, didn’t I?
KAREN: Can we just get back to the interview?
GRANNY F: Sure, sweetie pie! So, back to your book, TALK OF THE TOWN, coming out November 18th . . .
KAREN: About Roxie. Right. After being the perfect daughter and then the perfect wife, and getting nothing but heartbreak for her trouble, she yearns to taste the wild side of life and decides to walk, talk, and even dress the part. She was a LOT of fun to write.
GRANNY F: I bet she was! Sounds like my kind of heroine! What do you mean she’s ‘willing to dress the part?’
KAREN: She likes to wear skimpy clothes.
GRANNY F: How skimpy?
KAREN: Skimpy enough.
GRANNY F: I see. Is she endowed?
KAREN: Yes. Why?
GRANNY F: Because I’d think she might want to show her b—
KAREN: Granny, on second thought, I don’t what to know why you asked if Roxie is endowed. I think I’d rather leave TALK OF THE TOWN right there except to mention that I’ve put up an excerpt on the COMING SOON page so my readers can read a bit of it and know what to expect.
GRANNY F: Oh. Ok. I just thought you might want to tantalize readers a bit, show them the sexier bits and–
KAREN: I’d much rather talk about another book of mine that is out right now, a re-release of A BELATED BRIDE.
GRANNY F: A re-release? What’s that?
(You can drink some martinis when you read my current re-release, A BELATED BRIDE, available now!)
KAREN: That’s when my publisher decides to repackage and reprint some of my older books for my new readers. This time, they are releasing my first two books, A BELATED BRIDE on September 30th and THE ABDUCTION OF JULIA on November 25th.
GRANNY F: How nice! I loved those books. Loved Aunt Maddie in THE ABDUCTION OF JULIA and the sheep tonic from A BELATED BRIDE.
KAREN: Most of my readers liked the sheep tonic. Best of all, I wrote a brand-new epilogue for both books as well as re-editing the final chapters.
GRANNY F: Fascinating! I’ve always wanted to edit my own life, just to smooth out a few of the rougher years and—Oh! There’s lunch! Ok, interview over. Can you get out of that chair now? You’re in my light.
And that was my interview with my Granny Feraldi. No need to keep you longer when there are fresh excerpts, fun updates, and all sorts of things to entertain you in the rest of the site.
Meanwhile, thanks for dropping by! Keep an eye out for future updates. They could happen any time within in the next 30 days. No, really. I mean it this time!
All best!
Karen
